‘Away up in Gorgie’ begins one of Scottish football’s most famous anthems. A change in my personal circumstances recently has meant I recently moved from living in the heart of Midlothian to a short stagger away from one of Gorgie’s finest watering holes i.e. The Athletic Arms aka The Diggers. Yesterday, I was ambling along Gorgie Road. Being a Saturday morning, my brisk walk was not in any way to do with me clearing my head from partaking in too much alcohol the night before. Oh, no. I just happened to pass a well-known bookmaker and, unfortunately, my long established medical condition - turf accountant constipationitis - was triggered (cannae pass a bookies…)
I have been known to place the odd bet or three over the years. On very rare occasions, I actually win. My gambling habit is mocked by friends and family alike. Shortly after Hearts won the Scottish Cup in 1998, my then 12-year-old daughter was rushed into hospital with appendicitis. Recovering at the Sick Kids’ Hospital a couple of days later, one of the teachers from her school very kindly paid her a visit - and duly cast me a disapproving eye as he realised I was playing cards with my daughter with her pocket money at stake (I was winning too, when he came in…)
Now, I have to say I don’t often bet on Hearts to win. This has nothing to do with not having faith in my team but more to do with putting the mockers on the boys in maroon securing victory. Those who know me will tell you my record at the bookies is not a particularly good one. The last horse I backed that actually won a race was Shergar (as your parents, younger readers) In fact, in years gone by, it seems the more I bet against Hearts, the more likely they are to win. Moreover, the bigger the occasion and the bigger the bet, the more success seems to come the way of the Gorgie Boys. It’s nearly six years since the greatest Edinburgh derby of all - the Tennents Scottish Cup semi-final at Hampden Park when Edinburgh’s finest put Hibernian to the sword, a Paul Hartley hat-trick helping to secure a 4-0 win and a place in the Scottish Cup Final. I would like to think I was as influential as Mr Hartley was in that game as I had placed a crisp ten pound note on Hibernian winning the game. Now before you castigate me, I should explain my glass half-empty thinking was if it all went Pete Tong and Hearts lost, at least I would have the very small consolation of picking up a few pounds from the bookies afterwards. And spending the winnings on drowning my sorrows. As events transpired, I was more than happy to part with ten pounds to see the maroons triumph. That game had a lunch time kick off and it was around 4.30pm that I toasted Hearts success in the Tynecastle Arms. The rest of that evening is a blur…
When the Gorgie Boys have been to Europe, I have usually placed a small sum on Hearts losing. The 1-0 victory in Bordeaux in November 2003 was one of the greatest experiences ever for those Hearts fans who were there. The two ten pound notes I placed on a home win were never seen again but it was a price worth paying. Similarly, a ten pound punt on SC Braga to defeat Hearts in the Portuguese city was safely deposited in the bookies’ vaults when Mark de Vries scored twice to secure a 2-2 draw on the night.
Getting back to the events of yesterday, the odds of 9/2 for Hearts to record an admittedly rare win at Ibrox looked particularly tempting. Rangers troubles are well documented and Dundee United and Kilmarnock have both won in Govan in recent weeks. I entered said bookies and filled in a slip that read £10 on Hearts to beat Rangers. Then, I considered the implications of my actions and thought better of it. Winning at Ibrox is difficult enough without having the additional burden of me backing the Maroons.
Sure enough, Hearts did the business with Jamie Hamill scoring a late winner. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry as more than £50 passed through my fingers. Of course, had I placed a bet on Rangers to be ahead at half time and Hearts to win at full time, not only would I have been able to have a pint in The Diggers on the way home that evening - I would probably have won enough to buy everyone in the pub a drink.
Perhaps I should place a substantial bet on Hearts to lose every game next season. With my track record, there would be a reasonable chance Hearts could win the league…
Gosh Mike, was it purely coincidence in this half century year that you moved closer to the Hallowed Ground that is Tynecastle... or was it the pub that won that bet!
ReplyDeleteIts always a pleasure to get a wee chat with you as you stagger... erm walk up past me to your seat on Matchdays!